2011: FAVORITE WORST NIGHTMARE



I know you are a angry sadistic bitch. All the yearlong you have proved it leaving no chance for doubt. You have not been your best and I wish to forget you forever. I know you say wishes are for boys with broken condoms and girls with broken hearts but this one will come true. You are a bitchy year.  I did very little partying compared with other years. You were always up my ass trying to show me how broke I am. So broke I could hardly afford to host carry your own drink house party, like 2010. Newsflash bitch! 2012 is a party year. I will party like its 2010.  Like am still in college which came to wraps in your time. 
That is my best memory of you, you being good and considerate. I know you could have just fucked it up and kill my dream of being a journalist. I appreciate. You are the year which slowed down my start up. Maybe you figured out tech startups where crowded, and you needed to put a stop to some.  You fool! Well, 2012 Edge Systems will sprout big Boeing like wings and soar in to the air. We will go in to great lengths to embarrass you, me, my startup and a cute sexy girl called 2012 and guess what, she is not a bitch. You are a lonely old wrinkled hag. Everybody hates you. 
Economically you sucked, the shilling nosedived against the dollar. I knew this by watching the news and reading financial blogs. It never dawned on me. A major reason is that I was always broke. I never had the shillings so I never noticed the change. You want to know who I credit for this misfortune. You! And I have no apologies.
I got laid off from my job in your tenure as a year. The cool magazine went under, I am not sure if it will resurface after what you did to its conscience. I also kicked some ass in the process of looking for another job. Some producer thought he was smarter than me. I thank you for that. Once again you, being kind and considerate bitch. But once a bitch, forever a bitch. The government sucked, more than it does. They sent troops to Somalia. As a consequence Al-Shabaab is up our asses with killer threats. Reason why this festive season is devoid of fireworks.  Reason why groove party was cancelled. Kevin Mulei saw two Al-Shabaab like fellows sheeply smiling next to a poster in C.B.D. Where do they expect us to celebrate your sad demise? It’s not such a bad thing because the pain of watching Jimmy Gait, Safaricom and the misguided media personalities perform will be averted.
Socially you are not better. You are the reason why I have spent most of my time on twitter and facebook. I can’t decide whether it’s a good or bad thing. Girls are still trying to figure out why I exploit their minds to my advantage. Still I can’t figure out whether it’s a good or a bad thing.
Politically you are one mean politician. You occupy approximately 70% of our politicians’ pea sized brains. You have gifted them with the I.Q’S slightly higher than a egg-yolk. Your tenure saw emergence of dimwits like Sonko and the ilk. They have not been better but this time it was worse. All because of you. Nuff said.
Musically you suck. Those Jamaican crazies invaded the country with some shit called riddims. They suck. 2012 is a year where everybody will bang his/her head to loud guitar riffs of punk rock. Sway rhythmically to electronic. X fm will be the station to tune in by everybody. #NotPaidForBlogging
2012 will be my year, I am adopting Drostdy Hoff Mantra ‘Every year is a good year’ and forget you. How cool is that? I will party like its 2010. I also have a job writing in agriprenuership and agrotechnology, a cool position which has a really cool description. The one which gets heads turning wondering what the heck is that? Don’t you dare influence the sexy 2012 to screw it up. I’ll never forgive you. It’s my year.
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