OUTRAGEOUS EQUITY BANK KAMBA ATM OPTION


This has happened in a bid to make the unbanked population banked. Some peeps are not conversant with english so the linguistical committee sat down and came up with this. I have had the privellage of covering the meeting and also being the first user of this new service. Here are snippets of what you should expect  when you go for your cash.Equity bank A.T.M’s have rejected the luo and luyha version therefore an expert has been brought from UK [ukambani] to solve the problem. Meanwhile in addition to Kikuyu version, the kamba version is ready for use. It goes like this:
Wienda mbesa siana?
1.mbau?
2.miongo itano?
3.iana?
4. maana eli kana atano?
5.Ngili?
[ino ni vengi ya athini! Ndukewe nthoni………….nyuva]
If you input the wrong code, this is the message you get
Ekana na ngui mwanake, ningumelya kaati yaku wathauka
If you key in more money than you have in your account
Indi wienda ata? Ekana na ung’ei . Andika mbesa ila wisi winasyo
When it requests for your pin number
Ikia namba ya kimbithi ethiwa niulilikana. Ethiwa ni atm kaati ya mundu ungi wuyie na yuyu wikita utatithya namba kaati ino ningumelya
When you have no funds
Umunthi manya kana wiinuka na maau kana wivange kula ukuya mbesa. Uila kuia mbesa indii?niki? ona ndwina nthoni?
When you just want to know the balance because you have no funds.
Mbalanzi yaku ni viviti, wumitye mbesa nginya dipositi na yuyu no sitima na mathangu ma equity ukwananga. Ona ndwna nthoni uikusya mashini ya atm? Asi?!
When you have withdrawn some cash and you do not require a receipt
Ooooooo?! Kumbe niwisi ndunatialya kindu ona ndululu!!!!!ha ha haaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
Go for it!
Vengi ya muthini
We congratulate equity bank on this new field though i have some few questions for them. Of late i have started to see shacks labelled Equity agent. Who the hell are these? Do they want to make bank services seem like M-PESA or what? I have advise for my friends up there but whatever this is, it is doomed to fail miserably. You have just put the wrong foot forward.
NOTA BENE: If you do not understand a thing of new equity bank system [you do not belong to this lingustical faction. I can not say the T word, you know what effect it has on Kenyans. I do not want Mzalendo Kibunja asking who dizzyrico is. I prefer to remain that way.] Leave a comment seeking translation and i will do it with pleasure.
Advertisements

One thought on “OUTRAGEOUS EQUITY BANK KAMBA ATM OPTION

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s