OF LADIES, MEN AND SHOPPING


Whoever said men come from mars and women come from Venus had shopping in his mind. Women love shopping and it can only be compared to chocolate liking. I have few female friends for reasons best known to them but the few manage to teach me a few lessons concerning their sisters.
I was recently taking a stroll with one down the streets of Nairobi. I love it because it gives me an opportunity to observe different traits of Kenyans and sample the sizes while still comparing. Kenyans [ladies] accessories come in different sizes and shapes but that is a story for another day. So my lady friend suggested that we pop at rather expensive mall and do some wish shopping. I was not for the idea for the obvious reasons. First I am a man, I only ask or look at items price when I intend to buy it not for fun. Secondly, it is the part of town where even if I had cash I would not venture to acquire a product. The owners there never sell with a student in mind; expect a filthy rich student and I don’t belong in that scale.
Reluctantly I followed her inside. I can swear by my beer bottle that cold sweat was dripping in my armpits. It is one of the most uncomfortable feelings, looking at something you do not intend to buy and also you cannot afford. The moment we stepped in to the shoes section I knew I was cooked, now the sweat was even on my nose and brow. A photographer nearby would be having a field day, thank God there was none. She comfortably sat on the seat like devices [for lack of better name] provided and commenced trying out the shoes. Now there was no escape, I took my ‘seat’ too. She tried nearly all the shoes in the vicinity taking all her time. Severally, she wasted the attendant’s time by asking questions and making him move around as if he was her servant. He must be immune to stress if that type of scenario happens every day in his work. To top it all, she did not buy any shoe by the time we moved to clothes section.
Here the little room they use for trying if the clothes fit is nearly occupied 24/7 and others in the waiting. To think that only a eighth of the ladies who use the room actually buy what they tried out is disgusting and shows lack of respect for the malls, owners and attendants. She waited and tried out a rather weird looking blouse which she was not going to buy anyway. I took the opportunity and simply vanished, yes vanished. Call it lack of gentleman’s virtues but I walked through the exit without looking back. The humiliation inside was too much to bear.
I still do not understand the fascination with shopping and ladies. I have learned it has therapeutic functions for some. I am still waiting for a clever scientist to prove it. Till then, that remains a baseless myth to me. Others do it as a hobby. I understand people have different and diverse hobbies but if this is one of them, it beats them all. A hobby whereby you spent all your cash is not a hobby, it is a loss and poverty making venture. It is a tradition to others. It is passed on from mother to daughter and the heredity continues to the coming generations. Now, if this was to be passed on to me, I would disown my family!

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