WEAVES, WEAVES AND MORE WEAVES



WEAVES, WEAVES AND MORE WEAVES
I write this fully understanding the danger I am exposing myself to. When the Nigerian husband finding Pastor Chris Ojigbani was in Kenya, women flocked K.I.C.C in droves. My issue is not their numbers. I got to observe several pictures of the occasion.
There was one distinctive feature in over 10,000 single, desperate and disappointed women. Nearly all of them had fake paraphernalia. With this I mean fake hair [read weaves] nails, eyebrows and even fake bosoms and behinds which is the newest of the China syndrome infecting our ladies. Weaves are the biggest culprit of this phenomenon. They come in all sizes, shapes and color. I pretty much understand that our African ladies are not bestowed with long hair as their Caucasian, Asian and other light skinned counterparts. Rather than struggling to have long fake hair which is so traumatizing to men folk, I have a few recommendations. Barbers are starving because afro is the thing right now. Why don’t our women folk decide to save them the recession and have clean shaven heads? Ajuma Nasenya is a super model and has never had a weave on her head. She is contended with her baldness and she surely pays allegiance to a certain barbershop the minute an inch of hair sprouts on her head. Now, that is what I call a real African lady. You are never bound to find her anywhere near pastor Ojigbani. The second option is keeping it natural, an option which augurs well with everybody expect weave-holics. You can style it in every way possible as long as there isn’t a sign of a weave anywhere.
Off with the weaves, and I shudder when I think of what would happen if good old government decided to ban them and promulgate that in to a law. I would have the chance to see more angry women than the ones I saw at K.I.C.C. T hey would take to the streets chanting haki yetu! Haki yetu! This would be louder and massive considering they do that over petty issues like women’s rights and equality which is slowly turning to men’s rights and equality. Other fake stuff like nails and eyebrows used to be negligible until bosoms and behinds became fake.
Now if you are looking for a man, be sure to avoid enlarging your body accessories for that is a sure turn off. The moment a man realizes he has been cheated he runs for the hills. Same as over applying makeup which I prefer to call after effects. A little make up does no harm but the moment it increases so much that it can be peeled off your body, danger signals furiously flash. You will scare a poor dude off on your first date and you will be left wondering what is wrong with men when what is wrong is you. With that type of a scenario, pastor Ojigbani will never lack a congregation of desperate women crying foul. I congratulate him for embracing that business opportunity fully. I wish I had started the ministry earlier than him. I would never have to deal with deadlines, writer’s blocks and a nightmare which is an angry editor. I would already be a millionaire.

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